Everything seems particularly strange and unreal to me when I am in company
Dealing with depersonalisation and derealisation in social interactions
For many people who repeatedly suffer from feelings of alienation or a sense of unreality, this unpleasant experience is intensified when they are with others. Whenever these people are together with other people, everything seems particularly strange and unreal to them.
Sometimes the feelings of alienation or unreality become so strong that those affected avoid social contact. They try to avoid these feelings and prefer to stay at home.
Social interactions are exhausting
This is understandable, of course, because the experience of unreality or alienation is very disturbing. Especially when you are in social interaction with other people. People who suffer from depersonalisation or derealisation have to concentrate particularly hard in order to follow conversations. They often feel cognitively impaired, have the feeling that their brain is filled with cotton wool and that they can no longer think clearly.
In addition, many sufferers have a strong fear that other people might notice what is going on inside them because they seem strange on the outside.
After social interactions, many sufferers are exhausted and need to recover.
Avoidance is only a short-term solution
It is understandable that those affected tend to avoid such social situations.
For a short time, avoidance has a relieving effect. People find that feelings of unreality or alienation do not occur at home when they are alone, or at least do not become as strong as when they are with other people.
In the long term, however, avoidance has many negative effects. Those affected lose their social contacts, no longer take part in life and may even become lonely over time.
How do I deal with alienation or unreality in social situations?
Social situations are important for everyone. Everyone needs the company of other people, at least once in a while. Even people who suffer from depersonalisation or derealisation.
But how can such situations be managed well?
6 tips for dealing well with the experience of unreality or alienation in social situations
- Your inner experience is invisible to other people!
Realise that other people are not aware of your inner processes. This only takes place within yourself.
- Carry out experiments!
Check: Are there really signs that other people are aware of what is going on inside you? In most cases, you will very quickly realise that other people are not aware of what is going on inside you.
- Everyone seems ‘strange’ sometimes!
People don’t always behave in the same way, everyone is in a bad mood or behaves strangely from time to time. That’s why not all friends will fall away straight away. Accept the fact that you are sometimes ‘weird’ too.
4. Don’t let the unpleasant feelings inside you take over!
Feelings of alienation and unreality are unpleasant and disturbing. Nevertheless, you have a right to participate in social life. Don’t let these feelings dictate your life, go out anyway and meet up with friends.
5. Focus on something else!
People who suffer from depersonalisation or derealisation tend to spend a lot of time thinking about these inner states. Even when socialising with other people, they are sometimes more preoccupied with their own inner experience than with social interactions. This is very exhausting in the long run.
When you are in the company of others, try to focus on something else outside yourself, e.g. your surroundings or the conversations that are taking place. Put the experience of depersonalisation or derealisation to one side. You can deal with it again later.
6. Last but not least: Feelings of alienation or unreality are normal and widespread!
Many people experience brief moments or phases of depersonalisation and derealisation from time to time. This is nothing unusual.
You therefore don’t always have to hide your inner experience from others or pretend that everything is completely normal. You may even have a conversation about feelings of unreality or alienation and experience understanding and support from other people.
Dare to talk about it! You will be amazed at how many people experience similar things, at least from time to time.
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